Yet for me it was a day that my entire life changed forever. I have to admit it seemed like it was little like hell on Earth at first.
I had so many things I wanted to say to him and yet did not get the chance. I had so many questions - really about how to handle his death, and could not talk with him.
Today, 2 years later, I'm leaving to go to Dallas, TX to do something I've never done before - run a half marathon! I chose this race, at this time, on this day for a very specific reason. I want it to reflect the miles the Lord has carried me since John moved to Heaven.
Oh the miles! I've heard it said many many times that our time here on Earth is preparing us for Heaven. As I've been training for my race - I can see how my training is going to get me through and allow me to complete my goal. One day as I was running, it began to rain and rain and rain! I somehow ended up on a very busy road that had very little shoulder. So cars were splashing huge amounts of water on me as the Lord was dumping water on me as well. I've checked the weather report for tomorrow and it's supposed to... yep... RAIN.
I'm so glad I've trained in these conditions - otherwise I would be freaking out! One day it was freezing... but I ran in layered clothes and trained in how to remove them as I got hot. Yes, it is also supposed to be about 38 degrees.
Cold & Rainy. No problem. I'm prepared.
But... how in the world does living in a world without the man God gave me, without my children having a father prepare us for Heaven - a perfect place filled with unspeakable beauty?
I have to be honest - I've only been on this race - I've only run these miles - 2 years - and I'm still trying to get my head around what God wants of me now. There is still so much I don't know about running. You see, I'm not really a runner. I'm just one over-determined lady.
I think it's very similar with God. Most of the time I don't feel very saint-like. Yet the Bible says that I am one. I know that I have been bought with a price and that my whole life belonged not to John - but to God. I am over-determined to live my life for Him. If He says this place here is a training ground for Heaven then I must trust Him and run for the prize every day.
As I run tomorrow I have a few verses that are going to keep me running... mainly because I know He wants me to keep running in life until it's my turn to go Home:
1 Cor 9:24
"Do you not know that in a race all the runner run,
but only one receives the prize?
So run that you may obtain it."
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
And finally - no matter what happens tomorrow on the 13.1 mile journey that I'm running or in the miles that I run in life... God is for me!
"Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This is know, that God is for me."
Babe, I don't even know if you'll know or even see what I'm doing tomorrow. But I do know that the Lord sees. I pray that He gives me strength, stamina and good health to complete this goal. I want to show our children that no matter what happens in life - God can carry you way more miles than we could ever imagine!