I'm so glad you've stopped by my blog! I am a Women's Minister and a former Pastor's Wife. I love finding God in my regular-everyday-stuff. I struggle with keeping up with the laundry, I love blogging, and my kids are my first line of ministry. I am recently widowed. So God and I are on a brand new journey as I try to find peace and understanding. Please grab a cup of coffee and let's get to know one another as we journey on our faith walk together.

Monday, February 7, 2011

What should you say?

I've been walking this new road, this new life without John now for 39 days.  And in these 39 days, I've realized that his passing has affected us all and we're all handling it differently.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be you... to walk up to me at church, or the grocery store and wonder what to say to me.  Or... you see a post by me and wonder, "did I cry with every typed letter?".  I know what you're thinking... "What should I say?!"  I know this, because I see it on your face.  I hear it in what you write.

Haven't you ever wished someone would just tell you what to say in those times - when you see someone grieving?

I know I have!  So, today I thought I would give you some ideas on what to say.  These things may not hold true for everyone who experiences a loss - but they will work for me.  So the next time you see me, the next time you feel like you want to email me or send me a message.... you'll be more equipped.

Here are three things I thought of - mainly because most of you are doing these things BEAUTIFULLY!

#1 - I LOVE to talk about John!  
If you give me the opportunity - I will talk about him until I'm blue in the face.  I want desperately to be able to talk TO him.  Since I can't do that, I like to do the next best thing. Talk ABOUT him.

Me & the kids do this several times a day.  We wonder if Daddy will like our new Spider Man backpack.  We reminisce about Jeep rides with Daddy.  We talk about how certain foods we're eating were his favorites.

If you didn't know him... ask me about him.  This will make me light up like a Christmas tree!  I would love to let you get to know him through my memories.  Talk to me about his music.  Talk to me about his theology - he loved to talk theology!

Okay - I know your next thought... "but I don't want to make you cry!"  Let me clear the air here... It's okay to say things that will make me cry.  These days that might be something very simple!  LOL!  It's good for me to cry!  It's all part of the healing process.  And if you take the time to cry with me (even if just for a second or two) I know we'll both be better for it.

Ecclesiastes 7:2-3 (ESV)
It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.  Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. 

As you help me remember John and the passions and convictions he lived by, we both can enjoy happy endings and be refined by his life.

So so many of you have done this!  You guys that came to Bastrop on December 30th - you lived this verse with me!  Thank you!  Many of you have come to my new home and just sat with me.  Thank you!

#2 - Just be my friend
Talk to me just like you used to!  I want to laugh.  I love to laugh.  I'm so ready to get back to the things that were normal - the things that were part of my every day... blogs, Twitter, coffee with friends (although this will be with a whole new set of people), Bible studies.  I love to text!  Send me messages. I'm totally addicted to social medias!

For those of you who don't know me very well, I've not been a puddle on the floor every minute of every day.  God has sustained me in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.  If you're a local lady and you've wondered if I would even want to get out of the house... the answer is YES!

Bottom line on this one... and I almost hate to say this about myself (as it's usually something you reserve for others to say about you) - but I am approachable.  Just come up and talk to me.... I won't break or cry on contact!  LOL!

#3 - Let me know...
I know so many friends, and people I don't even know, are praying for me.  I truly believe this is the very reason I'm not a puddle on the floor.  If you have the time, would you let me know you're praying? These quick & short messages keep me going throughout the day!

Also, if you have a quick little memory of John - I LOVE to hear about these!  I get messages every day, some funny - some serious - about John... either from college friends, high school friends, really all over. I LOVE these!  They make me smile.  Just this weekend a dear friend was at a restaurant that John & I loved.  He texted me to say it made him think of John.  Things like this are great!

Well... it's time to get my day going and the "To Do List" is already a full page.  Thank you so much to all of you for all you've done in the past 39 days.  You've blessed me heart beyond what you can imagine.

Just this morning, the Lord showed me a verse in Psalms that read, "in Your righteousness deliver me".  I know that I have been delivered from many pains because of your right standing with the Lord.  He has shown me His righteousness through you!  Thank you for your faithfulness to the Lord!  It's a beautiful thing to experience!

Blogger Tips - Get This Gadget


Post a Comment

Thank you so much for leaving me a comment! I absolutely LOVE hearing from you and value what you have to say. God bless you and thanks for stopping by!