I don't think I was even aware the calendar had turned to 2011, as I was planning John's Celebration of Life on New Year's Day.
But today... February 14th is a whole different story! John loved to love on his family! Jordan & I both always got roses... me = red, Jordan = pink. Chocolates for everyone! Of course I always got truffles! And they didn't come from the grocery store... he LOVED to go to some special chocolate factory & get just the right thing.
So... I'm not sure why I'm even telling you all this. I'm not sure what I'm even supposed to write today. It's just going to be a vulnerable post I guess.
It's my first "holiday" without him. Everyone keeps telling me once I get past a year's worth of "firsts" this pain in my heart will get better. So, let's mark this one off the list. I guess I'm one holiday closer to "health."
Jordan is home from school sick. I have a doctor's appointment myself. It already looks WAY different than it has in years past.
However, I am TOTALLY blown away by all the messages from my friends and family. Several of you have sent gifts for the kids & for me too - there's definitely no shortage of love and support surrounding us all.
One of my high school friends reminded me today of one of John's favorite things to say when times got hard, "The road goes on forever, and the party never ends"....
It made us laugh at whatever was causing us grief. So today... as I'm really missing my Valentine and just want to hear him say, "I love you Babe!" - I'm pushing through on this road - and will continue in the role God has for me in this life - until I can see him again!
Thank you all for your messages - Twitter, Facebook, Texts, and emails. They are working!