6 months... it still doesn't seem real.
Even though we've had numerous sad moments since that day in December, the Lord continues to give us great moments of victory! Yesterday was filled with a moment such as these!
Yesterday the Lord gave me the patience, the energy, the passion and the wisdom to teach BOTH of my children how to ride a bike without training wheels!
At the end of the day, my little 4 year old son said something that I will keep in my heart for a long while. It was after many stops and starts, falls and crashes that he found victory... even riding through rough terrain and not falling down he stopped (without falling) and said,
"Mommy! I didn't let it beat me!"
I was so proud of him! In fact, he did so well on a bike older than him and honestly too small - that we went and got him a more suitable sized NEW bike as a reward!
As we were driving he made yet another statement that I think we can all apply to our lives regarding things that have the potential to beat us.
This was our brief conversation...
JP: "Mommy, all you really have to do is have balance and keep pedaling."
Mommy: "That's right JP."
JP: (he paused and then as if he forgot...) "OH! And don't forget to hold on!"
I thought about this conversation for the rest of the evening. I thought about the past 6 months of our lives.
Balance: I've had to balance being both Mommy & Daddy. I've tried to incorporate Daddy's spirit into raising these two precious children. In fact, at the end of the day - I celebrated with the kids and used words I know John would have used - I did the knuckle thing with JP - I told Jordan, "Daddy would say you were his "kleine liebe" (which means little love in German).
Keep Pedaling: Oh! The financial and legal stuff that has been left to me, finding not just a job but a career for our future, just not cratering in my bed when I know my kids are finding a new happiness to their life.... this is what "keep pedaling" looks like for me. I've only been able to do this because of the Lord. My morning prayer time has given me the "keep pedaling" spirit and energy!
Hold on: We can't forget this one! None of us can - no matter what we're learning or going through! I watched JP learn and adjust to his bike without training wheels. There were times the bike seemed a bit shaky, or he would go off the edge of the driveway - but he always held on and was able to regain his balance and his confidence! We too can accomplish this same thing! When times are shaky and we get off track - if we would just hold on to the Word of God, we can regain our balance as well.
The Lord showed me two verses this morning that go along with this message from my son. One, probably is just for me and the other we can all apply to our lives.
Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
"This is my command--be strong and courageous!
Do not be afraid or discouraged.
For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
Psalm 146:9 (ESV)
The Lord watches over the sojourners,
He upholds the widow and the fatherless...
As happy as I was at the end of the day... I still wished John had been there to teach them and to celebrate with them. And yet - I'm so glad God gave me what the kids needed to make it victoriously through yet another "first."
He truly does UPHOLD me!
It is "all of Him, in all of me" that allows me to say on a daily basis the words of my son,
"I didn't let it beat me!"