I'm so glad you've stopped by my blog! I am a Women's Minister and a former Pastor's Wife. I love finding God in my regular-everyday-stuff. I struggle with keeping up with the laundry, I love blogging, and my kids are my first line of ministry. I am recently widowed. So God and I are on a brand new journey as I try to find peace and understanding. Please grab a cup of coffee and let's get to know one another as we journey on our faith walk together.
Whew! It's been a week! This morning, I have so much work to get done for my Alternate Certification! So I'm sitting in a Starbucks, attempting to have focused time... and then for the last part of the day I'm subbing in the Math Dept.
And yet... I wanted to get my Friday song up before the day got too far away from me. I would have done it much earlier this morning - but I was far too enthralled in the Royal Wedding. I really enjoyed watching it - until the commentators went on and on about their great love for one another.
Then I just had to turn it off! It reminded me of the day I said my own vows in a beautiful white dress - so in love! And I didn't leave out the word "obey". I'm just saying!
So today's song is about Heaven. I wish I knew just how far away it was - and just how soon I could see my love again.
I know I'll never know... so in the mean time - I'll keep on keeping on... trusting in my Lord to deliver me from this place that's not my home.
Wow! I can't believe I have neglected my dear friend Living Above this many days! I've been living a crazy schedule - as most of us do every day - with activities, tests, courses, subbing, church, etc.
Yesterday I took another certification exam. This time it was Math. So for days I've been studying every Math you can think of - Geometry, Algebra, Calculus, and then in between all that, I've been continuing my online course work - also required for my Alternate Certification.
In a nutshell - I'm exhausted. I just want to take a day and do absolutely nothing! Ever been there?
I read something this morning in my One Year Bible that gave me encouragement to keep going - to keep pursuing the task that the Lord has put before me.
I absolutely LOVE the story of Gideon. He's one of my all-time favorite Bible heros. If you're unfamiliar with his entire story - check it out... starting in Judges 6:11 - I promise you won't be able to put it down!
The part of Gideon's story that really spoke to me today was what he did after the big battle. He & his army of just 300 men had already fought the Midianites and killed the 2 princes Oreb & Zeeb. Yet they had not yet captured the 2 kings.
Judges 8:4 (ESV)
And Gideon came to the Jordan and crossed over,
he and the 300 men who were with him,
exhausted yet pursuing.
Now, I don't know about you.... but at this point, I would probably be asking for a break! It would go something like this, "Lord, thank you so much for letting us win that battle with just 300 men, but we have been on our feet for days, and without the proper nourishment, can we P-L-E-A-S-E take a break?!"
Or to make it a little more modern and closer to home, "Lord, I just can't take it anymore! I'm tired of studying all the time, I go from one test to another, and for a "break" from studying, I just study a different subject, and I'm still dealing with the aftermath of John's Homegoing, and the kids are always needing something. I just need to rest for a while."
Yet we see here that after a HUGE battle with a HUGE victory no less - that Gideon continues to work - even though he was exhausted.
So this morning, I prayed that the Lord would give me the strength of Gideon.... to be able to say, "I'm exhausted yet pursuing!"
What about you? Are you tired? Is your job not yet finished?
Just so you know... Gideon found those 2 kings - Zebah & Zalmunna... and God gave him victory over his enemies - even through his exhaustion!!
What else can be said this most WONDERFUL morning!!
Matthew 28:5-6 (ESV)
And the angel answered and said to the women, "Do not be afraid; for I know that you are looking for Jesus who has been crucified, "He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said."
Are you looking for Jesus today? He wants you to find Him and know Him!!
This is my most favorite resurrection passage...
John 20:15-16 (ESV)
Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?"
Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him,
"Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him,
and I will take Him away."
Jesus said to her, "Mary!"
She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, Rabboni!"
(which means Teacher).
The Lord knew her name and she recognized her Lord calling out her name!
He knows your name too - do you recognize when He calls it out?
I find immense comfort today in many things... these are just a few...
1. I'm celebrating with you today the immeasurable hope we have that we serve a Risen Savior. Our God is no longer in that tomb!
2. John is getting to thank, celebrate, praise the Lord for all that He did in person! What a day this must be in Heaven!!!
It's been a crazy week of more studying! Yes, you all prayed me through the biggest Science Test I've ever taken in my whole life... and now I'm taking a biggest Math Test ever!
In between studying logs, natural logs, complex numbers, polar graphing, augmented matrices, etc... I take a break and work on my 132 Online Science hours!!! Oh joy!
In between these 2 pleasantries... I work on trying to finally get my Houston house sold. Can you say nightmare!!!
Even in the midst of all of this - I know what week this is and all it represents. I know that my Redeemer Lives! Praise God for this immeasurable hope!!!
As they always say, Friday's here... but Sunday's coming!!!
Last weekend I attended my own church's Women's Retreat. It was at a beautiful retreat center in East Texas. During my Saturday morning prayer time, I found a wonderful passage! One that I'm sure I've read many time before, but it felt like I was reading it for the very first time.
I was sitting on a picnic table all alone near the still lake and God met me right there with this...
Joshua 14:11 (ESV)
"I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me;
my strength now is as my strength was then, for war and for going and coming."
Okay, let me give you just a little background info. Caleb is speaking to the children of Israel 45 years after they first saw the Promised Land. He is reminding them of the time he & Joshua went into the land to spy on its current condition.
Do you remember when Caleb & Joshua were the only ones to believe that with God they could take the land? All the other spies were worried about the giants.
Caleb was 40 when he first spied on the land; and today, in the verse above, he's 85 years old!
As I read this verse I thought to myself, "Now you KNOW Caleb had to have seen a lot of "life" in those 45 years!" He didn't just stop living!
You know that issues and physical encounters arose during that time, and yet he says "I am still strong!"
Caleb didn't say, "God, I'm 85, and I've lived long enough, it's time for me to go home and quit!" He said, I'm still strong for wars, for coming and for going!
Most of us spend more time telling God and those around us just how tired we are - instead of how strong we are! Most of us are already determining what year we're going to retire! I wonder if Caleb ever thought about retirement?
As I thought about this verse, I realized that God made Caleb strong! Caleb didn't just acquire this kind of strength - at 85 years of age - all on his own. God had to have given him this kind of strength.
If He can give it to Caleb - He can give it to us as well!
Sitting at that very peaceful place on Saturday morning, I wrote this in my journal...
"Lord, on the other side of this journey - well rather smack dab in the middle of it - I want to be able to say, "I'm still strong!"
What about you? Do you need some Caleb sized strength? Don't quit! Don't give in to being "too tired" - keep marching! Say to those around you,
"I'm still strong for war, for coming and for going!"
It's Monday morning and I've made coffee, printed off a resume and an application. Yes, the test has been passed, the program has been entered and now it's time for the next phase of my new life.
Interviews.
As I open my Bible, I'm thinking about my week and all that it holds. Some days are filled with subbing, others are filled with interviews, the rest are filled with classroom observations required for my Certification Program. Then there's the extracurricular stuff - T-Ball, piano, & Wednesday night church.
I'm looking forward to almost everything on my schedule this week.
However, before I even began to read my One Year Bible, the Lord laid on my heart what this week looked like for Him so many years ago. Think about it with me for just a moment.
Think about how He woke up on a Monday morning, perhaps had a cup of coffee in the morning & pondered on the dinner He would have on Thursday, knowing Peter would deny Him and Judas would betray Him. I wonder if He shook a bit thinking about all that Friday would hold for Him.
On Monday morning, I wonder if He was still trying to hang on to the wonderful experience of riding into town with everyone praising Him or if His mind had already drifted to long walk to Calvary.
If I, very human and weak, am thinking about my week and all that it holds for me - then I would imagine that Jesus Christ was thinking on Monday morning about His week as well - except He knew EXACTLY how it was all going to end.
Oh the pain He must have felt on Monday morning knowing what was in store for Him on Friday afternoon!
What did Friday hold for Him?
Death.
What did His Friday hold for me?
Life!
As I ponder the things in my week that may seem difficult and hard - nothing compares to the week that Jesus had 2000+ years ago. And from this, I find strength and life.
Thank you Jesus for walking through that horrible week.... it has been (& continues to be) my very life!
I heard this song on my journey to New Orleans last week. It's a sweet song and is a nice thought. At least it made me smile thinking about it.
The theology of it just doesn't work... it wouldn't be Heaven if you could come and go like this... but I still wanted to post it today - why?
It's a nice thought - and makes for a sweet song.
This weekend I'll be participating at my own church's Ladies retreat. Yes, I'll be sharing a bit of my most current testimony - Leaving the legacy of perseverance!
Sunday night I spoke at a Friendship Dinner in New Orleans. I had a blast!! This is one of the most fun events that I have ever had the joy & honor to be a part of.
The theme was Pinky Promise Friendships and I spoke about loyalty in friendships. The act of the "pinky link" is kind of like sealing the deal on your promise - the very vow you're making between friends.
I love knowing the history of the "whys" - Why we do the things we do... where the practices came from... it just fascinates me! So I did a little research on seals. I wanted to know why we used to use wax seals and why we say "Sealed with a kiss".
Before men and women could read or write they would often sign their name with a simple "X". We've all heard this before or perhaps seen it in the movies. However, if what they were signing was a legal document, something binding and official, they would then often kiss the "X" to make it official. Once they kissed this "X" the contract could no longer be altered or broken!
This is actually why the minister says at a wedding, "You may kiss the bride". It's not so everyone can watch the couple swap spit - LOL! The kiss "seals" the vow, the promise - showing it can no longer be altered.
Wax seals were used often with scrolls. We see this being used very often in the Bible. Once a legal document, decree, or set of instructions had been written, the king would impress his signet ring into the hot moldable wax. Indicating that this was his final word and what was written inside could not be broken.
I absolutely love the permanence of this visual! With a seal... the promise cannot be broken.
We can go into any Wal-Mart and buy just about any type of medicine, vitamin, even cosmetics and find a "seal".
What do we often read on these "seals."
"Invalid if broken"
Ouch! That's pretty harsh don't you think! I would imagine you're like me... you've never really given it much thought. Or perhaps it made tons of sense as you're thinking, "I'm sure it's been altered if the seal is broken - so it might hurt me - there's no way I'm trusting the contents now!"
However, I'm so glad my Lord didn't say our relationship is no longer valid if I broke fellowship with Him!
I may be able to break fellowship or communication with Him due to my sin - but the beautiful part about our Lord - is His seal is completely unbreakable.
What was His seal? When He died on the cross to save me to an eternity with Him and from my own sin, and I accepted and confessed this with my mouth - He sealed my future - and it can NEVER be invalidated. It can never be altered. It's been sealed with the best kiss ever!
I'm kind of a numbers person. I'm certain this doesn't surprise you knowing I like Science & Math. I've kept up with almost each day, each marker moment that I've continued on this Earth without the love of my life.
Today - my sweet John has lived 100 days in Heaven. I'm not certain he's aware of days up there - but I'm more than aware of them where I am.
Most Presidents give a "First 100 days in office" assessment or sometimes even a speech. So today, instead of my regular Friday song - I thought I might do something similar.
Now before you go & get your tissue, I've decided to celebrate this day. Instead of this being a very sad day - which would be so easy to do by the way, it's Friday Night Date Night and for the past 100 days I've been without my date - I'm going to do my best to find the good in what we've all experienced.
Last night the kids and I began to talk about what today means to us. We talked about the things we think Daddy might have seen & experienced in his first 100 days in Heaven. These are some of the things they came up with:
Jordan: "He's seen God's angels!"
JP: "He's seen lots & lots of gold!"
Jordan: "He's been given a crown!"
JP: "He probably has a golden car!"
Jordan: "He's seen Jesus!"
JP & Jordan: "He's probably playing lots & lots of music!"
I was amazed at how we talked about John and Heaven and God with smiles on our faces! It was a beautiful thing. Tonight, JP has a T-Ball game, but afterwards we're going to have a little celebration of some sort. We're going to make tonight special!
Now what about us... what have we experienced in our 100 days without our Daddy and my love... (good things - remember?!)
1. Jordan just learned she passed a test to enter into a Gifted & Talented school!
2. I passed a HUGE Science test to enter into an Alternate Certification Program that will allow me to teach any Science in High School.
3. JP is a natural at T-Ball! Last week he had a great in-field stop and a fantastic hit!
4. Jordan is taking piano lessons and has her very first big-time recital on May 21st.
5. I've joined the choir at church - and I love it!
6. I'm speaking at a Women's event in New Orleans this weekend and at a MOPS group in May!
7. Jordan & JP are both beginning to learn to ride bikes without training wheels.
8. Jordan has her very first loose tooth.
9. The kids are LOVING all the kids' programs at church: AWANAs, Children's Choir, GA's, Mission Friends. They can't wait to get there each week. And they've made some amazing new friends!
10. I think the most special thing to report in the first 100 days applies to all three of us... we all have a closer walk with the Lord. JP & Jordan both recently got new Bibles and they are still using them and reading them. We all talk about our love for the Lord often!
You can't walk away from something like what we experienced on December 30th and not call it a work of God that we are not bitter and angry at God - or walk away from faith all together! Instead, because of who He is - we're clinging to Him tighter than ever before!!
Yes, we have hard days. Yes, we talk about how much we miss John almost every day still! Yes, my heart aches when I wake up and when I go to sleep. Sometimes I just start crying out of nowhere - it totally takes me by surprise.
But like the ocean.... there may be turbulence and storms on top - but deep deep down there is peace!
Babe, we miss you like crazy! But we find comfort knowing where you are and one day we'll meet you at the gates! I love you more!
For now... I can only imagine what you're seeing and read about it in God's Word... I know you're actually getting to experience it all! Give me a tour when I get there? I hope so!
Don't you just love it when someone encourages you? It sounds so good to hear the words, "I know you can do this!" Or, "I believe in you and you're going to be great!"
A day didn't go by when John didn't encourage everyone in our family. He constantly told his children that he was proud of them, as he put them to bed, as they went off to school, daily he did this!
Before any big or small project I had going, he would encourage me profusely. He truly had a way of making me believe I could do the task - no matter how fearful or doubtful I might have been.
I read in scripture today that our God has done the very same for us. Check it out:
Deuteronomy 30:11, 14 (ESV)
"For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off."
"But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it!"
Don't you just love hearing from the Lord, "you can do it!"
The commandment He is referring to here is to love the Lord with all your heart and soul. To obey Him at every turn and to not fall into the ways & lifestyles of those around them.
This sounds pretty easy, but God knew they would be drawn to do things their own way instead of His way. Boy does this still apply to us today!
I know life can get really hard. And often times we want the easy way out. We slow down and stop trying to do things the right way. But the Lord told the children of Israel and He's telling us today that it's not too hard for us and it's not too lofty of a goal! His Word is very near and when we read our Bibles... we can do it!
What's on your agenda today? Did you need to hear, "You can do it!" today? I know I did!
Now, let's go do it together!
If you're here from iFellowship... WELCOME!
I hope you grab a cup of your favorite beverage
and hang out with me a while!
Leave me a comment, so I'll know you came by
and know that I'll be by later to visit you as well!
Is it detailed and covers all your earthly treasures or is it pretty basic and gives direction for just the big stuff - like kids and bank accounts?
I can barely read scripture these days and not think about my life without John. Probably for several reasons... 1) he & I always used to talk about our daily prayer time. Since I don't have him to do that with anymore, I do it on my blog. So, thank you all for "listening" as he used to! 2) I know God is comforting me with His Words during this time and I'm soaking it up like a sponge!
Recently I read something in Deuteronomy that made me think about my will. I now have one by the way, but John & I did not have one together. Nor did we have Life Insurance. But as I share my story, I have not been able to use the words, "he left me here with nothing." One, I think that would bring him shame and secondly, I just don't believe it's true. And the other day, I found out Biblically I'm right!!!
Deuteronomy 8:2 (ESV)
"They shall have no inheritance among their brothers,
the Lord is their inheritance, as He promised them."
These were the instructions the Lord had for the priests that lived & served among the children of Israel. As soon as I read this, I almost leaped out of my chair, as I was subbing at the High School.
To read the rest of this post - come visit me at Seeds of Faith!
Today I'm entering into Phase II of my new career. I'm driving about 2 hours to Region 7 for my interview that will allow me to enter into the Alternate Certification Program. Orientation is set for this Saturday and so it begins.
The test was the big Phase I of this new project and I know I have many more hurdles to jump through where this is concerned. The last one being an actual job!
Do you ever wonder if things could just be easy and quiet and free from drama for a while? Do you ever think, "It's always something!" I bet the children of Israel thought that same thing. First they were slaves, then they wandered in the desert for 40 years and then they had to fight battles to claim their land.
I recently read something in my prayer time that connected with these feelings I was having and brought me comfort. I hope it does so for you today.
Deuteronomy 20:1 (ESV)
"When you go out to war against your enemies, and see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid of them, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt."
Okay... several things there... did you notice the word "when" at the very beginning of the verse? He didn't say "if" or "maybe" - He said, "when you go to war".
We ARE going to encounter wars, we are going to come up against things that are bigger than us. For the children of Israel it was horses, chariots and armies. We have our own set of horses, chariots, and armies don't we?
I wrote a few of mine down in my journal. What are some of yours? The good news here is the Lord is telling us to be prepared to find them on our journey of faith. We will encounter them. But don't freak out when we see them!
He tells us not to be afraid because He's still with us. They don't surprise the Lord or freak Him out at all! I don't know about you, but when I encounter things that are bigger than me... again... time after time... I say, "Really God?! Can't you give me a break?!" But instead, I might should say, "Oh! You warned me I would encounter these obstacles. And comforted me with the fact that You'll be right here beside me!"
This was the prayer I wrote in my journal when I read this verse:
"Lord, You're allowing me to see some very big horses and chariots and armies WAY bigger than me. Give me Your strength to not be afraid!"
I encourage you to identify your horses, chariots, and armies and let the Lord know you need to feel His presence right beside you!
Okay, I'm going to do something a little different this Sunday morning with the scripture verses I want to share with you.
Most of you know, I read my One Year Bible for my daily morning prayer time. Each day is comprised of a passage from the Old Testament, a passage from the New Testament, a Psalm and a Proverb.
Today the last verse of the New Testament part was complimented beautifully with the first part of the Psalm. This is what I want to share with you today!
Luke 10 36-37 (ESV)
Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?"
He said, "The one who showed him mercy." And Jesus said to him, "You go, and do likewise."
Psalm 75:1 (ESV)
We give thanks to You , O God; we give thanks, for Your name is near.
We recount Your wondrous deeds.
So many people in the past 3 months have been my "neighbor". You have cared for me like the Samaritan cared for the injured man on the road to Jericho. You have shown me mercy! You have "gone and done likewise" just as Jesus commanded the lawyer.
And because you did... I have the words of the Psalmist on my heart. I know my God is near. I have felt His presence every step of the way. I give thanks to my God, whom has been near to me through you!
Today, I am recounting His wondrous deeds... that He has and is still performing through you!
Today, if you have been shown mercy - thank Him and recount His wondrous deeds!
I'm sure you've all heard this song by Mandisa - STRONGER.
I've been singing it in the car a lot lately... or at least through my tears. My favorite line in the whole song is at the end. She talks about how God started this work and He will be faithful to complete it.
I'm hanging my everything on this very truth!
I hope you enjoy today's song. I know whatever it is you're going through - God can use it to make you stronger... if you just let Him!
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