I've gone through a plethora of emotions over the past 19 days. They are too raw for me to list out here at this time, but with all of these emotions have come many many questions from those who have surrounded me.
How are you doing?
What can I do?
How are the kids?
Where are you staying?
Where are you going next?
Some of these questions have answers, some do not, some I'm still trying to figure out moment-by-moment.
But there is one that stands out in my mind the most.
What do you need?
Oh! This is an easy one. I need him... John! I know that is not the answer they are looking for or even what they mean - they are wanting to make sure that in my darkest hour, I have my most immediate needs met.
Everyone has been more than wonderful providing food, cards, financial support, childcare, smiles for my children, strong arms with moving furniture, hugs, just sitting with me & letting me talk - this list goes on and on! And I have most assuredly needed these things - and every need is being met - especially prayer!
This morning as I had my prayer time, I read the following verses. I know with each passing day, my answer to this question, "What do you need?" will change from "I need him... John" to "I need Him... Jesus."
Proverbs 3:21-23 (ESV)
Do not lose sight of these - keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.
Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.
I know I've still got some scary days and tasks ahead of me. What will I need for these tasks?
Sound wisdom & discretion from the Lord.
Life for my soul - security... from the Lord.
I need Him... Jesus!