I'm so glad you've stopped by my blog! I am a Women's Minister and a former Pastor's Wife. I love finding God in my regular-everyday-stuff. I struggle with keeping up with the laundry, I love blogging, and my kids are my first line of ministry. I am recently widowed. So God and I are on a brand new journey as I try to find peace and understanding. Please grab a cup of coffee and let's get to know one another as we journey on our faith walk together.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"Hey Babe!"

I went to bed last night REALLY wanting to talk to John.  So I thought I would just have a little chat with him today... right here on my blog!  (even though from my perspective it's going to be a one-sided chat)

Don't worry... I certainly don't mind if you eavesdrop on this conversation.  I just really feel the need or rather desire to catch him up on all the things that have happened since he went Home.

I kind of imagined that this conversation either happened at our kitchen table in the morning, where we shared a cup of coffee & discussed the schedule of the day ahead or on the couch as we collapsed from the hectic-ness of day and just enjoyed being together... alone!

Hey Babe!  I sure have missed you since you went Home.  

I know it must be the most awesome thing ever to walk with Jesus, and finally get to talk to the prophets and other great men of faith.  Kind of like the song.... "I can only imagine" huh?

I'm sure what's happening down here doesn't even compare to what you're getting to do - but I still want to share it with you.

You would be so proud of me!  Can you believe that all that German that you spoke to the kids actually did sink into my brain?!  That's right!  I learned the blessing that you gave the kids each night and I haven't missed a night yet!  In fact, you probably were not aware of the time... but you went Home right before bedtime.  As I shared with Jordan where you were, the first thing she asked was, "Who's going to give me my blessing every night?"  Jordan had to help me at first - but I've got it down now!

Oh!  Jordan has become quite the brave little girl!  At your Special Service (that's what we called it with the kids - I hated them saying the word "funeral"), Jordan went up on stage with Joe!  I just know you would have been beaming from ear to ear!

And if you thought our kids were social before... oh my!  We are now living with my parents, and we attend church with them.  They have taken to all the activities like fish to water!  I've got to admit, I love how they are soaking up not just the activities but what they are learning as well!  Jordan has memorized about 4 scripture verses and JP walks around telling us stories from the Bible and making up new songs!

I bet he's going to be a singer/songwriter just like you and Jordan!

Oh!  And all these activities... really is helping them sleep better.  They go to bed faster and sleep later!  I know you're not going to believe this... but I actually have to wake them up on some mornings!  No more "up at 5am!"  Yeah!

I think the biggest thing that has happened, the thing I really wished you were here for was when JP went to school yesterday.  I know!  JP, our little baby boy - is not a baby any more. And believe me, he'll correct you if you say so!  He marched right into that Pre-K class  - bold & confident... just like his Daddy!  You would have been so very proud of him.

You would have been giving him HUGE "HOO-AHs" I just know it!  You would have been bumping knuckles and probably would have had a celebration gift ready for him when he got home!  I know... you're probably wondering what I did for him.  Well, I got him a Spider-Man backpack and some new clothes - they have to wear uniforms at his new school!

When he got in the car he asked, "Mommy, can I go back tomorrow?"  When I said yes, he then asked, "Can I go every day?!"  He just loved it!  I know you would have been so proud!  I told him as much too.  Imagine that, a Franklin loving education!

Babe, I know it's time for our brief conversation to come to a close for now.  It seems so strange that "life" is moving on day after day without you.  It seems strange to see "2011" on the calendar and not share it with you.  

I have pictures of you all over the walls of my "new room" and long to kiss you - even for just one more time.  It was really hard yesterday completing forms and only writing one name under "Parents."  But I just want you to know, how resilient & strong your children are - they amaze me every day. 

They ask me difficult questions about your passing.  They know you are with Jesus.  Some of their questions are cute!  Jordan asked if you got a new cell phone in Heaven and if it was gold.  She also asked if you have a job there too.  Some of their questions show they are really thinking.  JP says almost every day that he wishes your body could be back on you again.

I just say, "I know.  Me too!"  We talk about you all the time!  We listen to your music every day.  I wish you had known just how much this world loved you.  Babe... you did it!  You really did make a difference for Jesus.  I hear all the time how people are reading their Bibles and going to church for the first REAL time.  

Just one last thing....
You always used to ask me in the mornings, "Did God show you anything in your prayer time?"  So I want to still answer that before I get my day going.  The other day I was driving down the road, praying, crying, and I said this to God,

"I hope a whole bunch of people come to know You from You taking him away from me!  I want to know it was worth it!"

And Babe, it was almost as if the Lord responded immediately.  I know it was from the Lord because thoughts like this I would not think... especially at this time.

The Lord replied, "Penny, if just one comes it will be worth it!"

I may never know who that "one" person might be - but I know you would agree with the Lord, and that brings me comfort.

Well... I hear alarms going off in the house and the coffee is calling my name.  I would say have a great day - but I know you will!  

See you soon I hope. 

 I love you with all my heart, with all my life, and with all that I am!
(we said this phrase to each other every day!)

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