"We just missed each other."
This is something my husband & I say to one other either when we're in the middle of an "intense discussion" or as we're resolving a conflict.
Another way to say this would be,
"We just were not on the same page."
"I totally misunderstood where you were going and took offense."
"Oh! Is that what you were trying to say?!"
As we were talking about something the other day, we had one of these moments. We were on the same page and then somehow we missed where the other one was going with their words. Facial expressions and body languages didn't help the matter either. Mainly because we were trying to have this conversation while doing a million other things! Never a good combination.
The good news is we always take time to bring every "missed step" to complete resolution. We never sweep things under the rug to resolve later.
So often in relationships - not just marriages - we bring bits of information (how our day went, a neat conversation or email we got during the day, etc) to one another almost as if they are a gift to the other person. Our "wrapping" of this gift is how we tell "the story". Perhaps we want to tell every tiny little detail, or perhaps we want to tell the ending first and then go back and fill in the details - it's your story, your information, your wrapping!
Too often in our crazy busy lives, we don't give our full attention to these "gifts" and by accident we devalue the gift and the person talking. It would be like saying, "Sure... you can give me a Christmas gift - but don't bother wrapping it and you can just leave it on the table and I'll look at it later."
When what we're missing in all of this is the "good stuff". My husband and I have found a renewed way to really take in what the other is saying at the end of a busy day. We have a renewed understanding that these times indeed are "the good stuff of life" and to not take them lightly!
I heard this song this week and thought of our new "gifts of information"....
What was your "good stuff" this week?